Battling with me and myself

That day after returning from Kasara, a nice weekend at my sister’s place I thought I was totally refreshed. But I was wrong. Maybe I silenced my inner demons for a while when my 'positive me’ was activated.

After struggling hard with my inner storm I settled down to give a deeper thought to myself. I wanted to know why those negative thoughts came in my mind as soon as I entered in my house. I had spent a nice weekend far away from my home. Constantly surrounded with positivity; spending time with my little, innocent nieces while I lay down under the clear blue sky. Away from concrete jungle, shrill sounds of horns, here in Kasara I was soaking myself in the natural beauty. The small village Kasara is blessed with greenery, countless natural fountains and fresh green thick hills. I tried to store as much fresh memories I could. I laughed, I played, I rolled on bare green grassland; I inhaled fresh air and I explored the jungle beauties by visiting nearby farms, fountains and dams. All this while my stay at Kasara not a single worry bothered me or any negative thought did not dare to touch me.

Dark clouds hovered around me

Then why all of a sudden the dark clouds hovered around my head when I was being a 'hopeful me'?

My inner voice said

“Its because your future that concerns me.” The inner voice said.

My other half reminded me we all have one life and we should live at the fullest.

My negative me said, “Until you don’t take your present seriously, you won’t enjoy the peaceful future.”

My hopeful me said, “Constant worries are good for nothing.”

“If you don’t remind yourself your goals, you won’t take them seriously and you’ll develop a laid-back attitude.” My demons snapped me in response of my ‘positive me’.

My positive angel tapped me

“But that doesn't mean you need to be on your toes all the time. You can be positively focused while you patiently try to achieve your goals. Let the time take its course.” Again my ‘vibrant me’ assured me. 

“No, do as I say.” My ‘authoritative me’ pushed me.

“Don’t listen to her. Do what your heart says.” The cheery voice said.

This time I was irritated with this me versus myself fight.

Me versus Myself fight

I shook my head as if I wanted to shoo away those terrible thoughts that were weakening my inner strength.

I took a deep breath and I got up from where I was seated. I closed my eyes and stood in front of the mirror. I opened my eyes and saw my inner me was laughing at me when I had that frustrated expression on my face.

I closed my eyes again, took a deep breath. When I opened my eyes my creases on forehead were relaxed now. It’s because in my mind I assured myself I will work on the things better while I cajoled my heart that I will take matters from the bottom of my heart.

I fed my demon avatar with worries, frustration, and gave enough of shit to shut them enough. On the other hand, I fed my positive hippie with hopes, positivity and other good things.

This time I again fought with myself to win over me silencing my demons and letting my positive angels flutter in my mind!

While my positive angels flutter in my mind!

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